Put the Knitting Away and No One Gets Hurt

 There’s a time and place for everything and almost none of them are for knitting. On a cold evening, in your own home with no one else around - that’s pretty much the only time knitting is appropriate.

I used to take knitting with me to places where other people would take a book or a laptop. People looked at me funny. And I don’t mean ha ha funny. It’s hard to be cool and smooth when you’re holding a ball of yarn and a half finished scarf, with your hands in front of you like a squirrel. No matter what you’re wearing, regardless of how much you spent on your haircut, you’re going to take on Mousy Spinster characteristics if you as much as hold the knitting needles in your hand. (“Why can’t people like that just stay at home?”)

And I don’t care that Sarah Jessica Parker is always seen around Manhattan knitting her little hats and such. She might be the well-dressed albeit whorish Carrie Bradshaw on TV, but in her real life, she lets herself be seen hunched over her fumbling hands and a ball of fluff.

It’s too bad, really, that it’s such an image breaker. Because there are some circumstances where knitting should be the perfect thing to pass the time. For example, waiting for your kid’s basketball game to start. You have to get him there 45 minutes early for warm-ups or you’d run the risk of being one of Those Parents. It’s a waste to drive all the way home and back, plus if you did that, you might find that almost anything you do at home is more rewarding than watching your child poke and fidget on the bench; and if you never went back, you’d definitely be one of Those Parents.

Knitting would be perfect for the parent who is in the Get-There-Early-for-a-Seat-or-Suffer-Lower-Back-Pain-for-a-Week stage of their lives. Sometimes you just don’t have a pre-teen that you can send in to save seats. So you’re kind of forced to do it yourself and take a craft.

I lost my self-confidence to knit in public when I lost my knitting buddy, my friend Laura, who moved to Alaska about the same time I moved to Florida. The fact that we moved to opposite ends of the United States speaks volumes about our friendship. Other than the knitting, Laura and I were polar opposites - she’s an adventurous spirit who skydives and owns guns. I’m a wimpy homebody in comparison. But we were drawn together by skeins of yarn.

Typically, I knitted little washcloths and quilt squares. She knitted king-bed-sized afghans in team colors. When we went to Michael’s together (stopping on the way to have a margarita and pick up ammo from the gun store) she would buy complicated patterns that were way out of her league and then would “figure it out.” I would buy more cotton washcloth yarn in another pastel color.

There is a World Wide Knit in Public Day, which is where I suspect many of the following photos were taken. On WWKIPD, knitters are supposed to unite and knit in all kinds of places, showing the world that we don’t give a shit and we’ll knit and look homely if we want to damnit.






 This was definitely not from World Wide Knit in Public Day. Can you see his knitted jumpsuit and matching cap? This guy has more self confidence in his loop stitch than . . . well, than the guy sitting next to him, that’s for sure.

Snow White found that knitting booties for her forest friends and drinking wine helped pass the time while she waited for the dwarves to get ready for work.

 Alright, I take back what I said. She still looks pretty hot. I guess famous people really are made differently than the rest of us. Could anyone look as good knitting?


Labels: , ,