Too Saggy to Vlog

Hate vlogging. Love Photoshop.

Bloggers are a fun lot. People continue to refuse to pay us (or even read us, in some cases) but we happily keep writing and maintain a cheerful attitude. Occasionally we give each other awards, because no one else will.

I got an Oh My Blog award from Jeannie over at Going Incognito. According to the rules of the award, if you receive the award you have the choice of either:

A. doing a video blog (vlogging)

B. writing a blog post while in a state of intoxication (drogging) or

C. blogging about your most embarrassing moment (embarraslogging).

You do not get triple credit for drunk video blogging about your most embarrassing moment. (embarradrovlogging).

Just an aside: Vlog, if said aloud, sounds like someone is throwing up.

Jeannie said she tried B, but drank two glasses of wine and was still making all kinds of sense. So she chose A and I was delighted to see her real self, moving around and stuff, which I think tells you a lot about a person. Plus Jeannie has bins behind her that look like they’re filled with craft supplies. Before her vlog post, I didn’t know her very well, but I now think we would be great friends.

I set out to do my first vlog, armed with Jeannie’s short debut vlog, and a vague but impressive memory of a vlogger I saw once at the U.N. in New York. (We were on a tour and this young, scruffy, smart guy asked at least one question every time our tour guide paused to say, “Does anyone have any questions at this time?” The scruffy guy’s cohort filmed the whole thing with a video camera. And then as our tour group was filing out of a room to go into another room, the scruffy guy would talk into the cohort’s camera briefly, giving what sounded like really cool opinions on U.N. stuff, with something awesome in the background, like the U.N. Security Council’s conference table or the place where Iran sits. I felt like I was seeing youthful political activism at work and it made me feel better about the future, especially as compared to the other sights from that New York trip, which involved a guy peeing in public and a Charmin toilet paper exhibit.

My vlog was nothing like the scruffy guy’s U.N. vlog. Unless he went home and edited it ridiculously to make it appear to be a housewife who has nothing to say. Which I doubt.

My vlog was a terrific failure. I filmed myself twice and was about to begin Take 3 when I mentioned it to my husband, adding that on film I appear old, saggy and sarcastic.  Without agreeing with me, he said, “You shouldn’t do a vlog.” He said my like-ability is based on the written word and it doesn’t translate to me talking. I think that’s his way of saying I’m not as funny in real life as I am when I write. And by that he meant my face is too saggy to be on video.

I have met people through my blog and have gone so far as to make plans to get together with them for lunch. One blogger who lives about an hour away from me seemed genuinely happy to have lunch with me, but then I mentioned that I am not really as funny in real life as I am in my blog. I never heard from her again.  So I guess I won’t be having that lunch in Fort Lauderdale anytime soon.

It’s like how Spiderman was way cooler in comic book form than in the movies. Halfway through the movie, you want to say, “Stop moving around and talking. Bring back the conversation bubbles and the frozen expressions. We want ARGHHH, THWIPPPP! and BWA HA HA HA!”

So no vlog. I’m choosing C and will start right away on a blog post about my most embarrassing moment. (And it’s not the making of my vlog. That isn’t a blip on the radar screen.)

I’m passing along the Oh My Blog award, as well as the three-point challenge, to Mrs. Blogalot and Life in the Mom Lane and Absence of Alternatives.  Feel free to check them out.

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