Just For the Record

Today’s blog started out to be something about my iTunes organization project. I was going to blather on about how I am putting songs into play lists and although I have good intentions to make it useful and functional, I end up with seven play lists with all the same sad songs, show tunes, breakup songs, and hits from the ‘70s.

But in the process of looking for art to go along with such a blog, I came across the mother lode of things to make fun of: Album covers.

Most of these came from BizarreRecords.com and they are all real. None of them are comedy albums. So if you find yourself laughing at them, know that you’re laughing at them, not with them.

Look out - there’s one right behind you! Organ players had some big hits in the 1960s. There were so many, Mercury Records felt compelled to issue “Great Organ Hits” with the obligatory organ rocket on the cover. Who can forget “When the Organ Played at Twilight?” Not me, I can tell you.

It’s a good thing Wally and Ginger found each other. Letter-fingered people have to stick together. But when he slapped her, the W and lower case L’s hurt like a bitch.

Tom Petty’s sister would not let her little brother outdo her. “You’re not the only heartbreaker!” Linda cried. And then she coughed up a red feather.

You’re God’s child? Really? Would God allow his kids to leave the house wearing what was left from the Little House on the Prairie set?

The negro’s back and he’s a tinch upset. You know, about the white hood and noose and such.

I don’t want anyone to think I’m picking on gospel singers. Or family singing groups. Or people who dress alike. Or dorky looking guys with large sideburns. Or mismatched groups with a really tall skinny person and a short fat person. Or white ties. But they were the funniest album covers. So there are quite a few gospel and Christian groups on here. Some more, as I rest my case:

“Jesus loves me, even if I am dressed in car seat fabric squares sewn together. And he doesn’t mind that I carry my vo-tech diploma around with me, and am wearing a white tie from my Uncle Bernie’s bar mitzvah. Did I say bar mitzvah? I meant confirmation.”

I think the one on the right is touching him.
And while we’re on the subject of creepy . . .
Here’s a great way to ensure your kids never sleep another nightmareless wink:

And here’s one that will bring out the red in your creepometer:

I want to know what Julie’s doing on her 16th birthday. No, I don’t. If the guy with the Falconer beard isn’t her boyfriend or her study hall teacher, I’m calling the cops.

“Must . . . resist . . . urge to . . . close . . . lid . . .”

The slippery fabric of their clothes, their white-boy afro-perms, and musical instruments lying willy-nilly all over the floor had the Castle family in some pretty ridiculous predicaments.

Let’s not and say you did.

Hey! Santa remembered! I got my two front teeth! But now my eyes are crossed! Hey Santa, bite me!

“Stand up for the Star Spangled Banner? I am standing up!”

Obviously this was before the late ‘80s when singing drug addicts were still a novelty.

Well, of course you do, honey. And you look beautiful while your bangs are growing in.

If the hair and chachki denim doesn’t blur your vision, turn your head sideways and try to read who these girls are. TrY hArDeR!

I found at least six or seven Marcy records. Marcy is a doll. Which tells you that if you’re a singer and you can’t get a record deal, you’re even less talented than this Bride of Chucky.

Speaking of Bride of Chucky - who let the zombies cut a record?

So there’s no doubt: Notice the “Heart Warming” symbol in the upper right corner. Just in case you thought they were gangsta rappers.

Roger Smylie likes to dress in creamy yellow for the lay-dies.

So that’s what Tootsie’s doing now!

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