Convention-al Lack of Wisdom

I either hate national party conventions or I love them. I can’t decide. I either hate them because they remind me of our high school assemblies, they’re so cornball, they’re full of puns and plays on words, too much emphasis and pauses for clapping, where good politicians can get away with bad, overly dramatic speeches that read like a third grade essay on Why I Love America.

Or I love them for the same exact reasons, because they’re as American as the mullet; because they’re like the lemon shakeups at the Canfield Fair - you love them because they’re the shakeups at the Canfield Fair, not because they taste good or are worth what you pay for them.

I haven’t seen much of the Republicans, but so far it looks like an AmVets high school speech contest I judged in Cleveland once. More old people in wheelchairs and bomber jackets than you’ll ever see in one big room.

Some observations about the Democratic National Convention:

Let’s all watch the Republicans this week and see if they can out-hip the Dems. The McCain and Palin kids might be able to pull it off. But only if their parents let them break free of the Peter Pan collars, tucked-in-shirts and dress shoes. That's not change. That's more of the same! America!

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